Getting awkward questions (wait, do you know each other?! I find it difficult to explain to people how my relationship came to be.
I’m often asked how we met—and not in a giddy kind of way (it’s more like concern).
Mid 20s dating
I can recall numerous situations—work issues, arguments with people—that my boyfriend was able to help me with based on his own mistakes and victories.
Plus, when it comes to things like taxes, real estate, and life hacks that you pick up over time, an older guy can be a goldmine of useful information. I dated a guy right before my boyfriend who was really … I’m the kind of girl who looks up to independent women, and I tend to put my girlfriends before dating.
I get the impression that people outside my inner circle wonder if I’m lying and that maybe he picked me up at a hotel bar or something cliché like that.
Other inquire whether I was purposely seeking an older man when I met him.
He just didn’t get that and wanted to be around every second.
I don’t necessarily think that he wanted to hang exclusively with me all the time, but I think he felt insecure that I’d meet other guys when I went out with friends.
This alone is a reason why I refuse to go back into the dating pool with guys my own age. When I’m out, the guys I seem to attract are generally in their mid- to late-30s. To find out why, I asked a straight twentysomething male friend, who pointed out that younger guys are simply intimidated.
After all, going up to a total stranger in a bar and making an impression isn’t easy, and it takes a certain amount of confidence, which often comes with age.
Evolutionary psychologists say that relationships like this often occur because while fertility lasts only from puberty to menopause in women, it starts at puberty and can extend long into midlife for lots of men.